How to Process Emotions to Gain Control of Your Life - The Time MD

How to Process Emotions to Gain Control of Your Life

I had big plans for 2020.

They included mostly travel-back to my home country of Commonwealth of Dominica, visiting family in Trinidad and Tobago, and a couple of other overseas and local trips.

Mostly for fun with family with a sprinkling for business.

I also had plans to finish my life coach certification and start my coaching business.

You probably had big plans too.

Some of you were expecting a baby and had a baby shower plans

wedding plansgraduation plans. 

Some of you were in the middle of treatment plans for chemotherapy or surgery.

Most of our plans for 2020 have been derailed by the coroner virus pandemic.

So rather than sitting on a beach in a tropical paradise, I was figuring out how to homeschool my kindergartener and preschooler, while simultaneously working from home starting up my coaching business.

You were probably trying to figure out something similar if you have kids.

Or you were probably scrambling to cancel your wedding that you have been planning for the past year. 

Or the celebration for graduation after finally reaching the zenith of your career. 

What about those of you in the middle of treatment? 

Now you have to go through all of it alone- yup for a while there hospitals had a NO visitor policy.

I don’t know about you but 2020 and the coroner virus pandemic brought a bitter taste of disappointment along with a dollop of many other heavy emotions like anger, panic, confusion.

I initially avoided my feelings about the pandemic and ate my way up 8 pounds.

You may have argued with the injustice of it all and blamed the universe, the government.

What I do know is that an emotion that causes pain will continue to come up until you fully understand the lesson that it wants to teach you. 

And that the only way to the other side is to process those emotions

I started with disappointment.

I decided to just feel how disappointment felt in my body 

Like really pay attention

I didn’t try to fix it

Then slowly I began to see my thoughts about my disappointment

2020 was the year that I took control of my life

I was six months into a new job

my thyroid levels were finally balanced after thyroid surgery and I had big plans to lose those stubborn 15 pounds

my kids were both in school freeing up some time for me to focus on my business

then of course there were travel plans.

And then pandemic happened and the world was turned upside down

Because I have no control of my external world

I made it mean that I no longer had control of my life

And puff… there it was

the reason for my disappointment 

My thought– I have no control of my life.

Finding the reason allowed me to take full responsibility for my feelings.

My thought

Which by the way

Is so not true

IF anything,

I have full control of my life

It doesn’t mean that the pandemic does not exist

It means that the Pandemic did not cause my disappointment

It was just my thoughts about the Pandemic

The best part of this process of allowing your feelings is that once you recognize the thought creating your pain,

You can decide whether you want to continue to feel that way or choose to feel something else on purpose

The sweet release of disappointment

I decided I wanted to feel hope

And so, I decided to think that the pandemic was a gift

Yes, a gift

besides all the death, sickness, lost jobs and wages

I began to see an opportunity for me to learn

About my resilience and that of my fellow man

The pandemic is part of the human experience-

Along with death and sickness there is also so much love, compassion and generosity 

Even in the midst of chaos.